Know your enemy

Sometimes, when you’re upset, being alone is the best therapy. It gives you time to realize what it is you’re facing, and how to fight it, or accept it. As much as it sucks to face your demons, seeing what you have in front of you is for your own benefit, especially if you’ve been running from it for awhile. I mean, you might as well be swinging your metaphoric sword around with your eyes closed if you don’t know what you’re dealing with. Before taking action, THINK – also, when I mean think, I mean with your head, instead of your heart (because we all know emotions bring out the extremes in us).

it’s been too long, and I’m lost without you.

Happy 19th, brother.

My heartbeat steadies to my feet,
As I retreat from the heartbreaking messages
hidden in your remembrance.
Retreat from my disappointment, and improbable wishes.
Retreat from the “now”, so I can grab pieces from “yesterday”.
Yesterday you told me that my “tomorrows” would be okay.
So, what happened?

My mind works in funny ways.

I find myself more scared of losing reasons to live, than actually losing life, itself. I guess I’m fighting a lot harder than I thought I was. Nevertheless, as much as I’d enjoy writing more about my eventful life, I have a 10:30am class, which might as well be at 6am( I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON!!!), so here’s a little jam that has been giving me the best vibes lately.

Lent

For forty days I will be giving up caffeine, smoking, and red meat. If all goes well, by 40 days, I will never inhale another puff of smoke directly.

misplaced g-spot.

“she’s got the whole wide world in her juicy fruit” – f.O.

My main girls emphasize how a good orgasm is the answer for everything. I mean, there’s such a long list for reasons of having sex, how could I disagree? (Make-up sex, break-up sex, i-love-you sex, one night stands, etc.) With this said, I’m pretty sure I’ve misplaced my G spot- Unless you have a penis long enough to reach the top left of my chest I highly doubt you’ll be pleasing me at all. Can I get an amen from all the woman ( and men ) that can genuinely say that physical pleasures aren’t as fulfilling as they should be, for you?

I’ve been told many times that I’ve just been “fucked” the wrong way, like there is a right way to be fucked. (metaphorically stating that is) I hold such emotional attachment to anyone and everyone i give pieces to myself to that even if I was provided a reason to moan loud enough for the aliens to hear, the aftermath would surely ruin it for me. In other words, this is me optimistically stating, I’m afraid of making love to a man without knowing he’s here to stay.

So, unless you can fully convince me that you’re here to put a ring around my finger, you definitely do not have the whole wide world in your pants.

everyone loves an underdog #linsanity

Finding out how emotionally strong you are is to derive how hard you fight to be, and stay, happy. Not to state the obvious, but someone will always have it easier than you, and someone else will always have it harder than you. There’s simply no point in comparing your situation with someone else’s . All you can really do is do what you have to, to keep a smile on your face (this includes crying out, like a baby, to have the probability of being “okay” afterwards).

Mother Teresa Type-ish

Selflessness is not a skill, it’s a talent. Over coffee, one of my main-girls and I discussed the relationship between caring and being a push-over. I’m not sure if the latte was warming me up, or the topic just really hit home, but, damn, was I ever glowing with intensity. I, myself, am a huge pushover. I mean, as-big-as-texas-state size pushover. I spent most of my life trying to please other people, and supported my actions strongly with the excuse “their happiness is the most important thing to me”. With that said, recently, I’ve realized that you can justify anything if you really wanted to. So, not saying that I didn’t care about their happiness, I just don’t believe I cared as much as I thought I did. I was, simply, afraid of disappointing another person.

So, what draws the line between caring and being a push-over? I believe that the only property that places you to one side or the other is genuine selflessness. I mean, Mother Teresa definitely dedicated her life to other people, but she wasn’t a push-over. If you can look back to what you have done for someone else, and say that you did it for a reason excluding yourself completely (this includes their happiness making YOU happy; your happiness should not be dependent on someone else) then you have done it in a caring-way. At least, that’s my opinion.

rant #1

I hate when people try to understand me by assumption. I take a lot of pride in being diversified- the things I do in my free time stretch between writing poetry, shooting hoops, and designing shirts. Not to be egotistical, but I can say I’m pretty damn good at what I do. Anyway, I think it’s amazingly ignorant how everyone either labels me as a jock, artsy-fartsy, etc. There’s always more to someone than meets the eye.